hope you're all doing well. today was a very long day ... not going to lie, it was hard not to eat, mostly out of boredom though, not real hunger. on a good note, this morning i weighed in at 109!
i woke up pretty early (its hard to get a good sleep at all these days) and was alone so i sat downstairs and did an exercise ball video, just a light workout to get myself going. then i decided i needed to tidy the living room, so i organized all the pillows, straightened the rugs, dusted, vacuumed, and made it look perfect. then i looked over at the kitchen, and decided to clean that too. wiped all the counters, emptied the dishwasher, did the dishes that were in the sink, and tidied up the food my family had left out for me after they had eaten breakfast. i looked around at the nice clean kitchen, but the windows looked dirty... so i windexed every window downstairs. thats a lot of fucking windows.
bit tired after all this cleaning, so i come upstairs to lie down for a bit. i sit on my bed for one minute, and everything looks like a huge mess in my room. so i clean more.. put all my clothes away, dust, vacuum, straighten the sheets, organize all my makeup (that was a task lol), hang up all my jackets, and pick up all the shit off my floor and put it in the bin. after this i peeked into my bathroom... the bathroom i share with my younger brother R, so you can imagine the state of it. i moved everything off the counters and scrubbed them clean, windexed the mirror, scoured the toilet, got every speck off the shower walls and polished the tub. i cleaned my house for three hours straight today.
SO. you might be thinking im a bit crazy at this point, but there is something i have not yet shared with you ladies: i have obsessive compulsive disorder. its not like super severe or anything, but this major "cleaning/organizing binge" is a classic example. i am a freak about things being in their rightful place... its so hard to explain. its not that im a neat freak, i just dont like when things are too close together, or too far apart, or at a weird angle from each other, etc. also i need things in stacks to be even. my boss thinks im pretty much psycho, because at work im always re-arranging the stacks of cups or take out boxes, making sure they are the exact same height. the list goes on forever, but you get the idea. it is a pretty big influence on how i go about my day, always making sure everything is in its place.. oh here's another one for you: when adjusting volume on the tv or the radio, the volume number always has to be a multiple of five. 10, 15, 20, etc. if its anything but that, 13, 17, 22, etc. it must be fixed immediately. or i get really anxious and cant stop thinking about it. H loves to torture me when we are driving, he'll try to move the dial without me noticing!
anyway sorry this got kind of long, im sure you all already knew what OCD was lol. something else though that stems from my OCD: i also have trichotillomania. basically, i pull out my hair subconsciously. one strand at a time. i also compulsively pluck and shave. if there is a hair i missed while plucking/shaving and im out in public sans tweezers or razor, i will pull at the stubble with my fingernails.. this often results in broken skin and broken nails =( the whole deal is bad, but the hair pulling from my head is the worst. it gets really bad when im stressed. half the time i dont even realize im doing it. H sometimes makes me sit on my hands when we go out to the movies or anywhere else that my hands arent preoccupied. im scared to be bald =( if you would like to know any more about trichotillomania, read up on it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichotillomania
so yeah thats a bit more about me (however boring lol). i've made myself a cup of tea to ease my stomach, been having some very unpleasant aches and pains... not really hunger pangs, more just pain pangs lol. anyway going to drink my tea and catch up on your blogs!
keep up the great work ladies, and thanks for all the comments you guys leave me, they really brighten my day!!!
lots of love,