Sunday, January 31, 2010


my vice.
i know so many of the drinks are super high fat/calorie, not to mention stupidly overpriced.. yet i cant get enough of it! i have one pretty much everyday, or at least four or five times a week..
yuck, i know.

i do try to get the drinks to be somewhat healthy (non-fat, no whip, etc) but wouldnt it be lovely to be able to simply eliminate something that is so obviously contributing to my grotesque fat belly. but no matter how hard i try i always end up going back.. BUT as with food, this calls for extreme willpower. i am better than starbucks, i dont need it. from now on i will limit myself to one a week.

do any of you have vices like this?
and what are your favourite "healthy" starbucks treats?

work was nice and long today... super busy, so no time to eat even if i wanted to! had about three coffees with one packet of 2 cal sweetener in each, and a whole load of water with lemons. so along with the english muffin i had for breakfast, today i will have consumed... somewhere around 200-250 cals?

not bad for a restriction day =)

i plan to start my fast tomorrow. water and coffee only, until wednesday! wish me luck!

s. xo

Long day ahead..

my weight is now 115.. down an lb ! =)

today i will be working 12-8, so that is a good excuse for me not to eat (or eat very minimally) all day. nobody will be watching me too closely so nothing will appear suspicious! i will allow myself water and coffee for while im at work.

i am restricting to 300 cals.

i want to fast this week starting monday (tomorrow).
it is the start of a new month so its a fresh start for me as well
if i can hold the fast until wednesday, ill see how i feel and maybe extend it to friday. ill be drinking loads of water, and coffee if i need to. wish me luck with this!

i dont really care for my job, but i do appreciate that its quite strenuous and very active. i work in a restaurant, so i am constantly running around, with very little rest. great for burning cals and getting exercise! the only downside is that of course, everywhere i look, there is food. and its good food. i have to try soo hard not to pig out everytime there is food for the staff.. the kitchen always gives us treats like chocolate cake and deep fried squid and french fries and UGH everything there is so unhealthy.

then again, i get a lot of my reverse thinspo at my workplace. countless fat/obese people come in everyday and gorge themselves on pizza, woks, ribs, wings, etc. just shovelling it down. watching it makes me sick.

so as long as i can resist all the delicious food around me, i should be okay for today.

think thin!
s. xo

Saturday, January 30, 2010


last night was great with my girls
drank way too much though
didnt get to sleep until about 7am
and im definitely feeling it now lol

managed to avoid eating too much at grandmas
she always makes stew of some kind
this one had pork and beef and potatoes etc.
i nibbled on it a bit and managed to make it look like i had a decent sized helping.

my weight today remains at 116.
im surprised it didnt go up after all the eating and drinking that took place last night
not that im complaining !

off to the boyfriend's house now
we are likely going out to dinner..
looks like it will be salad for me again lol

s. xo

Friday, January 29, 2010

Good morningggg

this morning my weight is 116 lbs.
yuck yuck yuck.

the first goal i am setting is
106 lbs by march 8th.
think i can do it?

for anyone who hasnt seen it already,
i totally recommend
its great, really detailed and helpful for losing weight!

today i might be going to look at cars with my boyfriend
(we'll call him H)
and then later tonight im going to party with my girls
so it should be a fun day !

tomorrow i am going my grandma's house with the fam for brunch
hopefully i can use a hangover as an excuse not to eat loads
my grandma is defs the type to put 4 helpings of everything on your plate
and then pester you to have seconds and thirds and desert and everything
gonna have to up my willpower
cause she makes some damn tasty food
but i'll be strong !

s. xo

Thursday, January 28, 2010


hello fellow bloggers.
let me begin by introducing myself
i am samantha, im 18 and i have pretty bad issues with weight and food
thats mostly what this blog is gonna be about i guess
that and my other random life happenings
soo read if you're interested, comment if you care enough
or ignore it all together lol.

im a generally happy person
i have great friends and a lovely bf
a good family and good home and all that
but one thing i have never been happy with is my body.
in fact, im more than unhappy with it.
i hate it.

maybe in some future posts ill post pics
but not right now, im too much of a cow
i dont wanna gross anyone out.

im definitely not obese or anything
just way too large for my liking.
so as i embark on this journey to maybe find some happiness
lose some (lots of) weight and not look like a whale
your thoughts, comments, criticisms and support is much appreciated.

i already keep up with a few blogs about weight and ED and ana etc.
i guess thats what inspired me to start my own
so here goes !

s. xo