wednesday

hey everyone
today was both good and bad... lets start off with the good.

i had my breakfast this morning, oatmeal (160 cals) and an apple (60 cals), for a 220 cal meal. i went off to school, and my class got let out early today. i was walking towards the bus stop when i thought hey, why dont i just walk home? now im always up for nice long walks and exercise, but this long walk would be REALLY long. like, almost two hours long. but hey, i had nothing better to do. so i walked, two hours, home.

finally arrived home, jumped in the shower and took a short nap. my mom was out getting groceries, so i thought i would be able to escape dinner altogether before work, but my dad got home about half an hour before i was to leave, and he forced me to eat. so i had a bowl of chicken soup (100 cals) which wasnt too bad, considering all the exercise i had just gotten. anyway i get to work, and within an hour of being there, i caved =( there was a mistake fried rice sitting in the back.. i stood and stared at it for probably 5 minutes before eating, trying so hard to convince myself NO. but i couldnt.. i failed. i ate a few mouthfuls of it, and then a bite or two of chocolate cake, and then a whole god damn chicken sandwich. what the fuck samantha?!?! i wasnt even hungry!

sooo im trying to work out the cals in my head a bit.. work was super super busy so i was running a lot, plus the 2 hour walk, that must be a lot of cals burnt? hopefully it sort of evens out the cals i ingested. ewww. tomorrow will be a fast day! just cause i feel like it, not really to punish myself. water and tea only.

so here is my plan for tomorrow:

get up around 9, shower, get ready for the day
leave the house at 11, walk to H's (about a 40 min walk)
arrive there probably 11.45, hang out with him til 1.30 (NO EATING)
leave at 1.30, walk to school from his house (about 20 mins)
class from 2-4, mom will pick me up from school at 4.15
start work at 5, so hopefully i will avoid dinner
dont fucking eat at work ! good grief.
probably be there til 10 or 10.30, straight to bed when i get home.

sound good? yes. lots of walking and exercise tomorrow. i want to wake up on friday feeling empty empty empty. i may be going out for dinner with some friends on friday night, if that is the case i wont eat breakfast or anything before that. hopefully we go to red robin or something, they have that great huge salad that is like 320 cals. saturday i will be drinking heavily, its a friend's birthday, soo i'll probably eat breakfast on saturday and then a very small little something before the party just so i dont puke lol.

so disappointed that i caved at work, i was doing so good too =( hmph. fuck you stomach.

anyway.. hope you girls all had a good day! lets make tomorrow an even better one!

love you all,
s. xo