Apologies

hello lovelies
first off i want to say sorry for the weak posts and for not commenting as much as i would love to! i've been pretty busy over the past few days.

yesterday i went out of town to visit a friend who moved out there about four years ago. back in elementary school and the beginning of high school, we were inseparable, the best of friends. inevitably, when she moved away, we began to drift apart. at first i was sad about this, but slowly i accepted it. we talk maybe once a month now, and it doesnt bother me at all.. honestly, i just kind of wish we would stop talking all together. now i know this sounds like an awful thing to say, but this friend, L, is just so.. immature? i dont even know the word to describe her. she cheats on all her boyfriends, but gets crushed when they cheat on her. she never listens to me when we talk, its always about her and whats going on in her life (ALWAYS involving boys). i just get sick of her so quickly, i would just rather not be associated with her anymore. but for some reason she has been begging me lately to come hang out with her (she is kind of oblivious i guess) so finally i go out there. what do we do? the same thing we always do when i go visit her... we go to the home of whichever guy she is fucking at that time, they make out and i sit and watch tv. like seriously, you invited me here, i drive an hour to come see you and all you do is sit and basically fuck your boyfriend in front of me. like thanks, but no. anyway thats pretty much what my yesterday was.

i ate way too much again today and yesterday. just way too much. my belly is so bloated and huge. i want to puke.

i am going to fast tomorrow and thursday, and then restrict to 500 cals per day for the rest of the week. hopefully get a bit of the gross off of me. then next week, i am going to follow this plan:

monday: 400 cals
tuesday: fast
wednesday: 300 cals
thursday: fast
friday: 400 cals
saturday: 500 cals
sunday: fast

next week i will be back at school (ugh) so it will be easy for me not to eat, as i'll be out of the house. i havnt weighed myself since i discovered i was 113, but i seriously feel like im 340293 lbs, i just feel like a huge blob.

anyway enough moping! i will be strong and i will get back on track. i will lose this weight!!

hope you girls had a lovely weekend =) and thank you dears for the lovely comments. you really warm my heart.

love and more love,
s. xo